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30 Dirty Secrets

30 Dirty Secrets

Not only does December officially kick off the holiday season it is also the time of the Sagittarius. Being the the amazing Sagittarius that I am I present to you 30 Dirty Secrets about that you would never ever guess about little ole me. This was definitely a struggle, because I really don’t have secrets, but I do odd things on the low-low.  I thought that it would be a great opportunity to share a little bit more about myself and get some things off my chest.

 

1.   When I’m alone I attempt to burp the alphabet, I never get past “I” on my best day. I’ve gone as far as to look up methods online to see if I can up my numbers. 

2.   I pretend that I don’t understand people so that they will stop talking to me.  I find that it comes in handy to know a few languages so that I can get out of conversations. 

3.  I am addicted to watching shopping channels without any intention of buying, sometimes I practice being a host with a signature fake laugh and everything. 

4.   I lie so much about how old I am I sometimes forget my real age, without Jesse I would probably never know how old I really am. 

5.   I feel like people that wear ties are untrustworthy. 

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6.   I’m that one person that laughs hysterically at really corny jokes because I can make anything dirty in my mind and we're not thinking about the same thing. 

7.   I still have presents and birthday gifts for friends that I should have sent out 2 years ago.

8.   I don’t really want to be considered a role model because then I would feel guilty about all of the horrible things I say and do.

9.   I enjoy reading fanfiction including the ridiculously horridly written Rated K stories.

10.    I haven’t given 100% since 4th grade. 

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11.   I struggle with knowing whether or not I am pansexual or asexual.

12.  I haven’t given 100% since 4th grade. 

13.   I’m super paranoid that just about every white person I meet is somehow connected to the KKK which has limited my circle of white friends dramatically.  I seriously only have 3 that I trust wouldn’t try to sell me to someone. 

14.   I think that Dak Prescott is hot.

15.   I stopped accepting drinks from strangers in my mid 20’s because I’m paranoid that a bartender might be a part of a roofie circle. This is also why I never turn my back on the person mixing my drinks and I tend not to order drinks at dinner unless I can watch the person making it.

16.   I’m scared shitless of making a decision on whether or not I should go back to school or just start a  consulting business. 

17.   Sometimes my dreams are in Spanish with yellow Korean Subtitles.  

18.   I am under the age of sixty and have considered having my teeth pulled so I could have a full set of dentures (flossing sucks).

19.   I can pretend my whole way through a conversations and never know what the topic is. 

20.   I feel sexier in cowboy boots, jean shorts and a flannel shirt than I do in any mini black dress. 

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21.   More than likely when I’m out with people I pretend that I have to use the restroom, but really I’m on my phone watching someone’s Snapchat Story or on IG. 

22.   I am grateful that my friends do invite me out to do things, but I doubt most of them know that I actually have social anxiety. 

23.   I write about three letters a week to different companies requesting that they stop making dick moves. 

24.   I will always choose to watch a Korean Drama over watching an American Programme. 

25.   I enjoy pressing buttons I know I’m not supposed to see what will happen, then right after I walk away briskly feigning innocence.

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26.   I usually wait until I leave a job to inform them I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.

27.   When I went through a haunted house this one time, I  assaulted one of the clowns and ran just in case. 

28.   Playing Mafia III is a major stress reliever for me and I wish all POC would play it. 

29.   I am a major nerd as in D&D playing, Star Trek watching, extensive vocabulary using, bow tie wearing nerd.

30.    I have no idea why I do this, but I watch videos of people popping zits or pulling out long gross blackheads.

So this concludes my 30 Dirty Secrets. I don’t really do scandalous so it is what it is. Thanks for the read my friends.  Kisses! 

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